The truth about podcasting
Everything you need to know before hitting record
Want to know how I got into podcasting? One word: pandemic.
We’d brought home our surviving twin baby after 123 days in neonatal intensive care. He had chronic lung disease and was still hooked up to an oxygen tank. On the way back from seeing his paediatrician, a voice on the radio announced that the UK had four cases of COVID-19. Four. You know how that story ends.
Lockdown hit. Stuck inside with an extremely vulnerable infant, we built our own world. And then, one night, we pressed ‘record’ on a dodgy mic and started talking about the only thing keeping us semi-sane: the TV shows and films we were watching. The Honeymoon Period was born. A darkly ironic name, considering we’d been on an actual honeymoon just months before my waters broke at 24 weeks.
At the time, we genuinely thought the only person listening would be my mother-in-law (and she’d be doing it out of kindness). But then… the numbers started creeping up. And then we realised that we didn’t have that many friends.
That was five years and 162 episodes ago. I’ve edited every show.
I’ve worked on other podcasts—some for work, some for pleasure. Last year, I launched Maid for TV with TV critics Dawn Glen and Sarah Kennedy, championing underrepresented voices in the industry. I’ve also been a guest on The Custard TV, Another Time McLeod!, The Movie Robcast, Flixwatcher, and The Modern Mann.
Why am I telling you all this? Well, I see a lot of new podcasts launching on Substack. And I also see some… questionable takes about reach, production, and (let’s be real) money. And that worries me.
So, consider this your Auntie Elaine Reality Check™—a lovingly delivered, expectation-managing, hype-tempering guide to podcasting. And a plea from me to think of your podcast as a long-term relationship, not a viral fling.
You don’t need to spend loads of money
How much does it cost to run The Honeymoon Period? £11.35 ($14) every month. That’s the hosting fee we send to Podbean - and we pay a little extra so that we get to see some pretty fun audience statistics.
I shudder when I hear of new podcasters paying companies hundreds of pounds to ‘produce’ their podcast. Honestly folks, a half-decent mic and a bit of time learning basic editing software will do. I am no technical wiz but I taught myself how to use (free!) Audacity in less than an hour (just play around with it - that’s the best way). [also no shade to people who use production, or producers themselves, but I’ve seen some right old scams out there. People get told they *need* particular things - they don’t]
Some of the podcasts I’ve worked on didn’t cost a thing. We picked free to use hosting platforms (Spotify for Creators is really user friendly) and did our own editing. Takes me 30 mins to edit a 1 hour podcast these days, sometimes less if someone’s phone hasn’t gone off during recording (*looking at my husband*).
You will not rush to the top of the charts, or be featured as ‘podcast of the week’ in The Guardian (probably)
Okay, okay. You might! You actually might. We know some brilliant indie podcasters who have won countless awards and had loads of amazing press. But, let’s be real. There are over 4.4 MILLION podcasts in the world right now.
The market was crowded when we started in 2020. Right now, it’s saturated by new podcasts, with celebrity hosts, personalised ‘listening experiences’, sponsorship deals, and advertising budgets that will make your head swim.
We’ve had some lovely items on BBC Radio Newcastle and Film Stories. And, yes, we did once get into the Guardian. But we will never be chart-botherers and that’s okay.
Sometimes only 21 people will download your episode
Don’t lose heart. But you need to be ready for the figures. And you might never know why only 21 people decided to listen to your really fun, very witty, excellently-titled podcast episode that should be winning all of the awards. And that might cause you to doubt if it’s even worth it.
It is. Keep going. Sometimes people will tune in to your podcast, and sometimes they won’t (we always get a dip around summer, btw). Try not to second guess why that is —after five years of podcasting I can say with great confidence that it is often totally random.
You’ll also get some episodes that do amazingly well for absolutely no reason. One of our most downloaded episodes of all time is called ‘You know nothing, Suranne Jones’ (we name our episodes after random things we say in the show), which reviewed Cruel Summer, Vigil, Free Guy, and Shang Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. We genuinely get 2 or 3 downloads a day of this episode, often more. It’s four years old. I will never understand why it gets all the love.
Support your indie podcasting pals, it’s not a competition
Some of the best people I’ve met over the last few years have been from the indie podcasting community. They have shared our episodes, promoted our podcast on their shows, been in touch behind the scenes with advice and camaraderie, and we’ve also had the pleasure of their company in real life too (I went on one of my best nights out in London with The Movie Robcast guys).
Big up your podcasting pals. Enjoy the community. Celebrate their wins and don’t be a competitive knobhead.
It is a labour of love - keep going, you’ll find your audience
This is where I remind you that podcasting is not a get-rich-quick scheme.
There will be days when you cannot be bothered to record. There will be moments where you wonder if it’s all worth it, and you should just go back to the days where you weren’t editing out coughs and really long ‘erms’ on your lunch break.
Don’t do it in the pursuit of fame and fortune.
Do it for you.
I can honestly say that The Honeymoon Period has been a glue stick in my marriage, helping me and my husband have some ‘us’ time after our traumatic experience. When we sit on the sofa and start recording, I know we will laugh, and take the piss, and have fun together. And that’s all that matters.